Waiting in Darkness
May 29, 2008
Xenet 71.43.1 System Msg
TTY31201.05.29
Network Connection Enabled
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I lean back against the reinforced wall of Foreas Base, and watch the other AFS soldiers go by. I hate them all. I hate this place, I hate the Foreans, and I hate the AFS. No one knows but me. Sure, I do my duty, I fight the fight. But I will never do it because I want to. I am stuck in this god awful situation, and I can’t do a thing.
I hear the other soldiers in their “off-time” talk about how much they despise the Bane, and the most brutal ways to kill them. I sit quietly and watch with unblinking eyes. I don’t dislike the Bane. I am fascinated by them. Of course, if any of the other soldiers knew this, they would surely kill me where I stood. But they don’t know. I want more than anything else to be able to desert to the Bane and fight alongside them. I watch with amazement the exceptional combat and tactic skills of even the lowest rank cannon fodder troops. I sit alone watching the other AFS soldiers discuss recent battles with so much confidence. It takes all of my effort to keep my hands from gripping my stave and cutting them down like so many saplings.
My Guardian trainer Lt. Baeten insists that I follow the “Guardian Code of Conduct.” To me it is nothing but a bunch of unpractical rules that make life just that much more unbearable. He really gets into this whole idea that Guardians are Neo-Knights, and we need to be chivalrous and honorable. Honestly I couldn’t care less. I became a Guardian because I was a natural with the stave. I am truly in my element when I am fighting with one. I feel it fly through the air and strike my enemies with flurries of blows, leaving them dead. They crumple to the ground and I move on to the next group.
Waiting is the worst part of life. I wish to leave this place everyday, but I must continue telling myself, “It isn’t time, it isn’t time.” But one day, it will be time, and they will remember it vividly, or not at all.
— Wolfen Shadowclaw, Orion
