-Lose or Lose-

October 16, 2007

Xenet 71.43.1 System Msg

TTY31201.10.16

Network Connection Enabled
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I spent my time seeking adventure and excitement on distant planets and in fantasy worlds. Hours and hours logged on any video game I could get my hands on, slashing and blasting bad guys for fun. Now, on a real distant planet with a real laser rifle in my hand, I find myself frozen. I struggle with every second of the day, wondering sometimes if I wouldn't have been better off just dying back on Earth.

My mind is battered by this war, my emotions have become fragile and out of control. My brothers were able to embrace whatever it was that chose us to fight this, soldiers finding glory in battle, like the heroes I pretended to be back home.

I don't have that within me..

The trigger of this rifle is attached to the fabric of my mind, and as I pull it, I unravel. I am no longer afraid of the Bane. I am now afraid of who I will be by the end of this war. I may survive this conflict, but the person I am will not, and I don't know which fate is worse.

-Markt